This is to you, Mom. The mom who’s busting her buns getting it done.
It may not be that you want a career or to climb the corporate ladder.
Maybe you just want your sanity.
Or to financially support your family.
You want to give your children the best you that you can.
And I don’t think that’s wrong.
For years I struggled with my desire to be that super stay-at-home mom who, while homeschooling her children, blessed them with her kindness and patience, made-from-scratch meals and snacks, and pin-worthy decoratives. If you truly want to be that mom, there is a wealth of knowledge that can be harnessed to help you grow into that. I’ve poured over articles and books and tips promising to change my life through the wonders of organizing and crafting. You can learn how to meal plan, find a house-cleaning schedule template, and even step-by-step instructions on how to hand knit a sippy cup cozy (I’m being a bit facetious with that last one, but if that’s you, then do you).
I struggled not because I didn’t know how to be the kind of mom and wife I wanted to be, but because I really didn’t want to be that woman. I was focused on all the “should be” and condemning myself when I couldn’t or when those things didn’t fulfill me like everyone said they should.
Now that I’ve come to grips with who I want to be and the kind of life I want to lead, life is starting to make sense again.
I had to assess myself, give real answers, and beat down a new path. Is it loving if you do all those things for your family? Absolutely. Does this mean that you can’t work outside the home? Absolutely not. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty or condemned if you work outside the home–whether it’s due to your circumstances or by choice. Your circumstances and your choices are likely to vary through the 18 years your child is at home. The question is not so much what you do.
The Real Question: Do you love?
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 1 Corinthians 13:1 (MSG)
Mom, don’t feel afraid to take the steps you need to take. If you’re a boring square, don’t force yourself to fit in a round hole. (Unless you believe God is calling you to that, and may you be blessed by this change.) Remember to look beyond the quantity to the quality. Show them love in a way that only you can. Love your family by being kind to yourself.
the emotional atmosphere a child is steeped in at home will pervade their adult mentality
We are called to by like Jesus. Jesus is called love because he loved. He didn’t love by doing things for people…
He loved them by accepting them,
by listening to them…
by comforting them…
by acknowledging them when no one else would…
by putting his arm around them when others turned away…
What matters most is that you are love.