The day I asked my son to forgive me

I lost it, again.

Somebody had an ugly moment, again, and I reacted with my own ugly.

Because when you come from a long line of quick-tempered, overreacting parents and another long line of emotionally distant ones, all things emotional are just a mess.

But instead of just waiting for things to go back to the normal flow, I went to his room and sat down next to him.

“Buddy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad and yelled… can you forgive me?”

He threw his little arms around my neck, “Yes, mommy!” and after a moment added, “I don’t like when you yell it hurts my feelings.”

And our hearts connected.

The first time I asked him to forgive me was the first time he shared his feelings with me.


I know of only one who never hurt anyone and never had to ask for forgiveness, yet still showed us how we needed to give it and ask for it.

One who is merciful to those who humbly ask for mercy.

One who is quick to love and not judge.

One who is quick to embrace and not trample.

One who brings peace instead of pushing away.


There are so many ways we fall short as parents, as spouses, as friends, as dreamers… In our pride we sometimes fail to see how much we are in need of grace and so we fail to see how much others need it from us. But when we ask for, receive and show mercy, we allow our hearts to connect beyond the circumstances.

As parents may we point our children to the One who is ever gracious, ever faithful, ever loving, even as we struggle to break free of the temptations and traditions that we think define us. And when our children look to us to ask for or give forgiveness may we point them to the One we seek to follow.

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