I’m still that girl

Life is change. Whether it’s going to college, getting married or getting out, having kids or losing one, or breaking an addiction, whenever we experience a life-altering transition we change. While we can’t go back to the way life was, we still remain who we are. Layers of complexity swirl into our personality.

I’m that little preschool-aged girl whose father said “you could go to college,” which coincided with a night mom read a few stories to me.

I’m that girl who doesn’t know her way around a closet. I surprise myself (and not in a good way).

I prefer a plate of spaghetti and sauce over pretty much anything else. Followed by a bowl of vanilla ice cream with a drizzle (who am I kidding, dump it on!) of hot fudge.

I prefer a long walk in the woods or a book and a chair to a night out.

I’d rather sit on the banks watching the ducks than interacting with my peers.

I don’t know my way in to — or out of — a conversation.

But I organize a shopping cart like it’s nobody’s business.

I’m that girl who fell in love even though she swore she never would.

And I watch through the blinds to see if it’s him turning down the street.

I’m that girl who keeps the door closed because the world is just too much sometimes.

And even though I still like being alone most of the time, I still want to be held.