How Parenting is like Being Stranded on Mars

I know you all saw the movie The Martian way back in October… we finally made it in December. Considering we don’t hit the movie theater too often, I thought that was pretty good. But how many of you made it through the 300 and some pages of the book? Hand raised right here.

It wasn’t until I actually saw Matt Damon’s portrayal of the main character sciencing the Martian fertilizer out of his conundrum (and colonizing the planet) that I realized how alike parenting and being stranded on a barren planet…

  • vital signs disappear: the search party’s been called back
  • ready-to-eat meals: sometimes parenting calls for some quick grub in the form of just-add-water meals. Yum. And when you finish those off…
  • 101 ways to eat potatoes: baked, mashed, wedged, souped, french fries, seasoned fries, crinkly fries, curly fries, hash browns, tater tots (and loaded potato pizza for those really trying weeks)
  • but really: you must again overcome the threat of starvation because you’ve eaten all the easy meals and forgot to thaw the chicken
  • duct tape: because dust storms and children destroy things
  • repetitive soundtrack: whether it’s disco or Disney, you’re going to be hearing a lot of it
  • documenting your experiences: it’s as if we can’t help ourselves, we must (b)log about our awesome survival skills
  • a word of advice: the experts (and non) are compelled to offer their no-fail, unsolicited solutions to your problems though they are on an entirely different planet; you chuck those aside
  • you survive: despite limited access to the facilites, extreme body changes, harrowing escapes, and chapped lips, you do make it out alive

Godspeed parents, godspeed.


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