Shopping at Wyzers is like Visiting a Casio

After spending an unaccountable amount of time shopping at Wyzers (as in, why-did-I-come-here-?, you know of where I write), we once again had a conversation that Wyzers was like a black hole, using more time than we had.

“It’s kind of like a casino,” I commented, “you know, trick you about what time it really is so you don’t realize how much time you’ve spent there?” After some (albeit brief) research on casinos,

  1. no clocks and no windows: so if what do you usually do just prior to right after you look to a clock? You glance outside to confirm that little device is telling the truth. If you eradicate the means we have to rationally and instinctively determine how many hours we have left before bed, you’ve got us for a good long time.
  2. lights, sounds, activity: as if your own brood were not enough, you’re a captive audience to every other small child who wants to stay and watch the bazillion TVs blaring across the entire back wall of the electronics section in the dead center back of the store, glowing like a giant beacon, beckoning our youngsters to the doom of us all.
  3. location of services: your potty-training toddler has just announced that he simply must “go potty” so you throw the minivan into park and dash into the store fearful of delay…and that’s when you realize you must sprint to the back of the store, navigating through the derelict photo printing section to get to your destination. On your way out, you must now keep his hands from picking up any unneeded treasures from those giant bins filled with wonders (think light up pillow pets, baseball bats, boxes of lego sets)  located down the main aisles.
  4. near wins: won’t that festive candy dish go well with your other party supplies? You bring it home to realize that, no, in fact that candy dish won’t do at all because you remember seeing something similar that would be more smashing than the one you originally picked up so you must return to the store and yet again enmesh yourself into it’s tight grip (feel free to take a mental breath here).
  5. labyrinth design: you are within site of the registers, ready to seal the deal, but then you pass a bin full of theater box candies and know that you simply must have a movie night, complete with a new movie so you truck all the way back to the electronics section, which is conveniently located that the back of the store.
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One thought on “Shopping at Wyzers is like Visiting a Casio

  1. Pingback: Life is like a Big-Box Shopping Trip | notthestateofmyhouse

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