An Open letter to Infertility


Seeing how this is National Infertility Awareness Week, I thought I’d introduce myself. You see, you don’t know me infertility–we’ve never had a chance to meet. But I’ve heard of you from my dearest friend and some acquaintances.

I’m tired of you turning the family into a commodity. Like some crazy of amount of money will magically bring new life into the world. Like you can be turned off for a price. Like you are worth the investment of time and money and emotion that frequently leads to frustration and anger and bitterness and defeat in the worst cases. I don’t understand. I’ve never been there. I don’t know what to say to them or how I would react and cope with the situation. But I think the family is sacred.

No, I see what you’re doing. You’re stealing the joy and comfort and companionship that marriage can provide by dividing partners. You’re telling them that they’re defective or invalidating them by telling them that there is no problem, no solution. There is a problem. It’s not them. It’s you. You are making them infertile not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I hear of these clinics where couples can go to negotiate the terms of their family with you. You take all that they can offer in exchange for hormones and surgeries and invaluable hope. And too frequently you back out of the deal, stealing it all and crushing their hope.

When I think about you, I want to grab you by the shirt collar and throw you out of the discussion. When Jesus saw people treating his home, his family, his relationship with his family like merchandise, he made them go (Mark 11:15-19). You have no place here.

To those who hear the word ringing in their hearts, I mourn with you. My heart breaks with yours. I know of only one who can take the sorrow.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3


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