The Nature of My Destiny

You compel the world to obey —

it follows trembling in your wake.

If only we all were the master of all destinies.

When even my own body betrays,

why do I get through the day?

Take me to the forest, I want to see the trees.

Or down to the ocean so I can smell the sea.

I don’t want to be awake.

I don’t want to feel this pain,

so I turn off my heart, close down my mind.

Who needs a mask when there’s nothing there to hide?

If they can’t see me then maybe they’ll pass by.

They won’t taunt me and leave me there to cry.

They won’t haunt me until the day I die

if they think I’m already gone; I’m already gone.

I carry this weight,

but I’m not sure if it’s too late to hope that something will change…

Take me to the forest, I want to see the trees.

Or down to the ocean so I can smell the sea.

 

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Losing the Light

I feel those spears in my back

Boom boom boom

Simultaneously strike and last

There so long I forget they’re there

Pain so sharp I can barely breathe

I feel those spears in my back

Boom boom boom

Is there ever any going back?

The light shoots out of my body

And now it’s all escaped

Yet you try to say maybe I never had it anyway

Maybe it’s better off this way

I feel those spears in my back

Boom boom boom

I can read the dark things

I’ve given you my soul and now you tell me to let go

Everything in Moderation

You’re the fire in my blood

Too much of you, I might burn too bright

Without enough, I loose my light

But in the darkness you can see

Out of silence you can hear

I know it’s not redemption but when I look in to your eyes, there’s something there I can’t deny

Where is this spark in me,

this ability to form something from the dust and bring it into being

Oh, you’re the fire in my blood

Escape Default

We speak in riddles, and we speak in rhymes,

trap love away behind compartmented minds,

but we’re steps away from another time.

If we could lower our walls a little, maybe we’d find each other.

The longer I see you on the other side,

the louder this closeness feels, the harder this war in me becomes.

The pain is written on my face.

These tears don’t lie, I can’t make this right.

If I let you in to the darkest-darkest parts of me,

what would you see…

would you see gray, or maybe you’d see black?

Baby, tell me you’ll stay —

take me in your arms — push the demons back.

Give me a reason

You, you are better off without me

You, you should hate me

There’s nothing for you here

There’s no where to go but misery

There’s no where to turn

Give me a reason to run

 

No, no, no rest, no rest for the weary

Born to end, why say the words I shouldn’t say?

Come when I know I shouldn’t stay?

No where to turn

No where to turn

I look to you

 

Give me a reason to stay

You know if I come, I come to stay

even when I want to run away

Let me lay my head on your shoulder

Just for a moment

Gone-Away Princess

They don’t see the storm inside.

She is fire. She is ice.

Again locked high in the spire, she cries

 

I knew myself

but somewhere along the way I lost me

somewhere along the way I lost me

somewhere along the way

I’m here again,

but somehow I’ll leave these¬†empty halls

you can’t save – you can’t save me from my castle

I have to find my own way to become gone-away

 

Boston Sleeping

How can I be silent when my soul is screaming,

stay quiet when my heart is bleeding?

How can I find peace when the walls press in on me?

help me forget all the things that were important yesterday

oh my mercurial blood — I want to stay, I want to hide

if only I could have you by my side

Anodyne days and rest elude me

After the Storm

I give you your freedom.

I want back myself.

I’m tired of running this into the ground.

Over-and-over I try to figure this out. I might drive me crazy if I don’t let this out.

Staring into eyes different only in time — Have we seen the same pain? Have we walked the same lines?

How do we pare down to only what’s essential?

I long to find the end again, past all the questions, past all the trivial.

I know there’s hope but… Let me try explain:

Oblivion.

Then I open my eyes — someone called.

I lie awake, still wrapped in the clothes of the grave.

I see only an aura, though, because no one moved the stone away.

Do I stay safe, hidden inside? I feel as though I’ll die if I don’t jump to see how far I can fly.

What if what feels crucial results in destruction?

I’ve looked at fear and welcomed the force, only to become the storm.

When we overcome our weakness do we lose the source driving us forward?

Spent, I find I don’t have the urge to sort through the wreckage, I want to leave it on the ground.